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Keywords:

• It tastes like I coughed up blood...

Comment: Hello liver damage, I've been expecting you

Keywords:

• You screamed THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Comment: and punched the bartender in the face. So no, we won't be going back to that bar.

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• You are the tramp this city needs

Comment: but not the one they deserve

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• I fill condoms not promises.

Keywords:

• Body paints and jello.

Comment: Your canvas awaits

Keywords:

• My night was too much.

Comment: My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.

Keywords:

• I can always see lesbian subplot.

Comment: It's my hero ability

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• Go forth little lesbian

Comment: get your gayme on.

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• I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME"

Comment: and see what happens. No way this could go wrong

Keywords:

• Having sex with your co-worker

Comment: in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired apparently.

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• I will no longer accept nudes from you

Comment: because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy

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• Please come quick

Comment: there are people in suits here judging me

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• There was a pool of blood

Comment: and we still don't know who it belongs to.

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• I have a lot of questions this morning

Comment: most of them start with "Did I..."

Keywords:

• it is time to test the effects

Comment: of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body